Why tf do women have to defend their Appetites?

Against other women

I’ve just come from my holiday and While we were there we encountered the MIL (Mother in Law* even though technically we aren’t married we probably will be), I also say encountered like I suffered her terrible shady behaviour but it wasn’t all bad. However there were some things I still can’t shake from this woman that I just cannot stand, she acts like the most pious bigot I have ever met.

Although she was generally nice to me the times that we have seen her, she largely did it out of love for her son and rather not her delight at me, she complimented more my effect on her son rather than me personally. Now I’m not tryna get the woman to think I’m Gal Gardot and blow smoke up my ass but she never paid a compliment to me once while I was there, maybe it’s her nature and the fact that she’s a bit of a mans woman, but she said I looked nice one night and then mentioned how I stopped her son from spending so much money.

Thinking in her voice

“Now if only he could find someone, who’s as financially savvy as her (me), but slimmer, more active and prettier, possibly someone who tans as fast as too”. That’s the demon in my head, not only do I worry about my boyfriend eyeing up other women but his mother doing it for him too.

Matchmaker matchmaker bring me a match, watch me burn this shit down.

It’s exhausting trying to impress a family that has cast you out as simply not good enough, if I get any drunker, if I get any fatter (god forbid baby weight) if I don’t keep up my tan, if my skin gets any worse, if my boyfriend earns more than he already does than me, if my house gets messier, if he gets better in anyways and I get “socially” worse then I am no way in hell deserved of him.

I honestly don’t think it’s worth it, to be under this much pressure and be having this little sex. I have not so secret fantasies of becoming extremely beautiful and taking him to the cleaners. Just to get back at her. But what annoyed me the most about our time together on our holiday was we went out for dinner and I polished off a Rib-Eye that was still attached to the bone, it was 700g of steak and it was fucking gorgeous and suddenly my weight started getting spoke about.

I have put on two stone since meeting my beloved, but at the same time I also have had a broken leg and a damaged metabolism. If i suddenly eat more dinner than her I am the topic of conversation. The woman is nearly 15stone, I am 11st and whenever we eat together she keeps a few bites on her plate out of courtesy and “prescriptive” bullshit people call manners and I polish mine and use the bread to lap up the sauce. Honestly I doubt she understand how height, lean muscle mass and metabolism work because I can polish my steak off and never get heaver than 12st, she so much as sniffs a chocolate bar and she’s over 16st.

She mentioned her husbands daughter, (second marriage) and how she needs more food than she does and for the life of her if she tries she will never loose weight. YES, okay I understand your point. You’re equating eating more to being bigger and heavier yes. But I don’t understand why you bring it up when I have JUST finished my dinner.

I agree I am not the slimmest I have ever been, nor am I the fattest. But why the fuck do I have to defend my appetite and Ghrelin (hunger hormone) levels every time I eat the same amount of food as your son? Leave me and my body and your husbands daughter’s body ALONE, just because it doesn’t fit in with your idealistic and warped view of what women should look like.

Another thing that really annoyed me was for some reason my beloved forgot who he was talking to when he was around her. Every time I asked him something he would snap at me like I was the clinger on, I felt like slapping him so hard just to say, who the fuck put some courage in your cup little fella because if ya wanna be like that your mum has a spare bedroom in her hotel.

His mothers attitude toward me, and my feeling and acknowledgement of this attitude is rubbing off on him. I am gonna have to get my proud back on around him and his mother or I’m gonna have to find a way to fit into her ideal of what her son deserves. And I can’t be arsed with that.

At the minute I do wanna get my pre-break body back and slowly but surely it is coming. But at the same time I wanna polish a steak and eat the fries too and not put the weight on. So at the minute I am hell bent on making some muscle, that way I can get back to my pre-break size of a UK 8 and eat what I eat now, which is a 700g steak. Hell to the yeah, I ain’t about to starve myself for no bitch, regardless whether that bitch is related to the man I love or not!